Predator Caught

Ever since the camera has been up it's been quite boring since my suspect has not been into the office.  The only footage would be people walking around and getting up from their desk about fourty times during the night.  

Then came Friday night!  I was excited since it would be a few days and the better chance of something being caught on the camera.  Well it wasn't more than one minute after I leave my desk and start recording that I see the suspect come up to my desk and pick up my phone.  I don't know if she was making a call or if she picked up the phone since it was ringing, but in either case she shouldn't be on my phone!

She sits less than ten feet behind me with her own phone, if my phone rings she isn't my secretary and shouldn't be answering it.  Now I need to wipe down my desk, my phone, my keyboard everytime I come into the office knowing that there's someone using my shiz.  

This wasn't one time, this happened twice.  It's quite disturbing, even with this small incident happening.  The rest of the weekend was spent with people getting up and out of their seats, and early Monday morning, the camera caught another lady (one that I didn't know worked here or ever met) get up from her desk and make her way in between my desk and my coworkers.  I don't know if she took some change, some anti bacterial, or what she did.  All I know is that she was by my desk twice during that morning which again disturbs me.

From the pictures above you can see that the angle of the camera isn't that great.  It's supposed to catch someone who sits in my seat, which I thought was happening.  I needed to adjust things and make it so that I can get a better angle and actually see what was happening intead of seeing an arm or half of someone coming into the picture.

All those episodes of McGyver worked well.  My mirror that I use to see behind me came in very useful.  I couldn't move the camera farther away to get a wider shot, so I positioned the mirror so that it catches most of the area around my desk and my desk as well, then pointed the camera to the mirror to catch the images.

So that's the setup and here is what it actually looks like.  I'm hoping this catches more of what's happening.  The only thing I'm scared of is if they grab the mirror to look at themselves, then the camera will be pointing at a ruler and some pens!

 

I haven't said anything to my boss yet.  Instead of trying to catch the small time criminal acts and having a simple slap on the wrist ... I'm waiting for that big fish to come onboard and then we'll get a bigger feast!

+ mon

No Predators ... Yet!

I was a little scared of what I might see on the video when I got in this morning, we've all seen those shows that have hidden cams set up in the office and the next thing you know they catch someone doing something extremely lude and nasty.  

There's one suspect that I have in mind who might be sitting at my desk and doing all sorts of things ... it's not the "stinky old lady" that I posted about before, that's just her neighbor.  But this other lady likes to be nice to us when we are here, but when we're not around she talks crap about us.  There was an incident where I went to the bathroom and she came in with my coworker still here.  I had a few boxes of documents around my desk and she gets upset saying that I think this is a college dorm room and then starts to kick my boxes.  When I get back to my desk it's like it never happened and I'm greeted with a "oh hello Simon, how are you doing?"  She sometimes comes to my desk to check herself out in my mirror that I have to see if anyone is coming up behind me.

She wasn't in last night, so the video only showed her stinky neighbor sitting at her desk and talking on the phone for about an hour, the cleaning guy coming and cleaning the carpet, then someone painting the wall.  Nothing awesome yet ... so I won't post up the boring video.  It also caught this other old lady who seemed to get up out of her chair about forty to fifty times in the span of two hours.  

I will keep this updated and hopefully she comes in tonight and we catch someone on video!

+ mon

Update on Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 12:04PM by MONStar

After a few technical difficulties we're up and running again.  The suspect came in yesterday but nothing was caught on video, so we'll wait and see.  Who knows, maybe I was wrong and it wasn't the person I was thinking about!?

To Catch a Predator

It's been a few months now that this has been happening, but my coworker and I just decided to ignore it in hopes of it going away.  Besides the smell factor that comes in around 4pm everyday we have to go through something else here at our desks.

Being that we lost our cubes and offices, having these desks out in the open makes me feel very vunerable.  During the past few months we have started to notice things start to disappear from our area.  

Mine is a cluttered mess that I can't help because there is no other place to put my things, but in the clutter I do have my little hiding places.  To think, with the mess people won't want to go near my desk but apparently they do!  I had a bunch of change that was hidden undernearth the monitor that was covered with other junk ... this would be our vending machine fund and when that afternoon hunger would hit, this would be our little change heaven so we can get some much needed munchies!  

There were quarters galore there, and I even left a $1 bill or two lying around sometimes.  After all it was covered and why would anyone look around my desk for anything.  I was greeted one morning by seeing that my quarters were all gone!  They had left the dimes, the nickles and the dollar bills, but the quarters were all nowhere to be found!  Hmmm maybe they had to use it for parking?  I thought that somehow the thief would put the money back the following night ... but that wasn't the case.  I moved my stash and haven't noticed anything missing from that lately.  

The big heist took place right next door to my at my neighbors desk.  Since the vending machine change incident we decided to go just buy the granola bars, candy from the store and have a good supply for when that urge hits.  I have the small boxes that only had about six granola bars in them ... him on the other hand got his from Costco and had a box of ... well the big boxes.  After a few days he was down to about twelve bars left, and off we went that night after all the work was done.  The next morning came and he was down to three bars, so nine of them suddenly disappeared!  

We all know that granola bars don't get up and walk away so someone had been casing our desks and took the opportunity when no one was around to strike.  Mine was some quarters, but my coworker had been hit hard ... that was his snack supply there.  

So this trend has been going on and we decided to hide our "goodies" from now on.  But that didn't stop the person(s) who were snooping around our desks!  I would often find my desk dirty and with crumbs on it when I get in in the morning, but I would always wonder if I had left that there from the day prior.  Ahhh well today was the day that the proof was right there ... yesterday the only thing that I had eaten for lunch were two apples that were already sliced.  I remember cleaning the desk afterwards and leaving it spotless clean before leaving.  This morning I come to discover spots on my desk and it looked like someone had been eating something with mustard or curry ... or maybe some sort of sauce that was yellowish.  It was right here in front of my keyboard and all over the side of the desk ... 

Well enough is enough.  Sometimes we have to take the law into our own hands and today ... tonight is the night!  This is the left side of my desk and it's "clutter."  Do you notice anything, anything that stands out in particular???  

Hopefully you didn't but if you check out the lamp post ... you'll see it clearly.  

The original positioning of this was a little better, but it was too obvious that there was something that was being covered ... so I left it like this.  The ones I suspect are using my desk for their entertainment are old and won't be paying attention to this lamp.  

Good old fashioned survellance!  The camera is set to capture images when there is motion detected, so once someone comes to my desk ... bam!  This should be fun and I can't wait to find what I catch on video ... or should I be scared of what I might catch!?

Hopefully I can haev something entertainint to post here tomorrow by catching someone in the act of using my desk!  Mess with the best, die like the rest!

+ mon

Some Vinegar a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

The allergy season is upon us, the itchy eyes, the running noses and endless tissue boxes being used are definitely a sign that it is here again!  It's a horrible thing when the weather is so nice and great, but you have something that's hampering your ability to enjoy it.

Season after season I would suffer from this and always had to turn to chemicals to fight this.  It started with me trying to do it with nothing, but that didn't turn out well as I was sneaking everywhere and had no tissue to clean up with.  Those times called for desperate measures, so I had to sneeze in my hand and then slowly slide my hand into pocket using it as a napkin of sorts.  I had no choice but to turn to drugs, I feel as if I had blown so many interviews and important meetings just because of this ... this ... this disability of having allergies.  Yes it is a disability!  We, allergy sufferers, are disabled from living normal lives in the wonderful springtime weather because of the horniness of the plants trying to pollenate each other. 

The first drug of choice was Claritin.  There was an instant effect and it was great, just one pill and I was alright.  The following year the single pill no longer worked for me but now I had to take two, sometimes three pills just to keep me in line.  This cycle continued until I had to take five pills during a season and there was no more effect.  I moved onto their nemisis brand, the name escapes me, but there was no luck with that either.  I even tried the version they make that melts in your mouth ... that did nothing as well.

I searched for answers and my cousin Ria had told me that she gets the shot from her doctor.  Again ... I turned to my drug dealer for the quick fix.  It was a simple injection with a price of street price of $10 for those that had copay.  This was a wondeful drug as it relieved my symptoms instantly and kept it away for the rest of the season.  But as with any addict we need more ... the follow season called for two shots which didn't treat me as well as the season prior.  There was an effect from the drugs, but it seemed as if my dealer was now watering down his product and it wasn't 100% pure. 

The dealers are very expendable, we have to find other means and when we do we stick to it.  The internet was my friend and I found out that something called Apple Cider Vinegar would do the trick.  The remedy called for two tablespoons of the ACV to be put into a glass of water and drink it twice a day.  Or you could just go straight up and down the two tablespoons.  There was something about the ACV that would make you immune to the allergies and usually through two or three seasons of taking it your allergies would disappear completely!  Sounds good huh!?  But it's not easy ... as I found out that ACV was horrible ... it's not like normal vinegas where you can dip your chicaron or your egg rolls into, but it was just horrible!  The mixture with the water didn't help, I even tried to mix it with some Peach Schnapps but that didn't work either.  This whole idea of the ACV was off the table now and I had a bottle of this stuff just sitting there.

During one of the seasons where I didn't take anything at all, I was at work and just wanted a snack.  I went for the Salt and Vinegar chips ... just because I like them.  I remember reading that the ACV has some effects on other ailments, and I think it's definitely true.  While eating the salt and vinegar chips I noticed that my allergies went away, but thought it was a fluke and there was just a low pollen count that day.  The next day I had another bag with the same results, hmmm was I onto something here?  Another day passes with the bag of chips and no allergies!  Fourth day comes and I ditch the chips ... the allergies come back!  Whoa!?  I found my cure!  My drug dealer was no more ... and I had turned to a new medication. 

So all it takes is a simple bag of salt and vinegar chips ... not the big one, but the small one works.  If you want better or best results get the sea salt and vingegar chips.  I guess the combination of the miracles of sea salt and miracles of vinegar working together combine for one insane home remedy. 

It's important to note that eating the salt and vinegar chips leaves this weird feeling on your teeth, I'm not sure what it is, but I'm theorised that it's melting away your teeth like acid. 

+ mon

The Illusion of Work Attire

I do hope that people at work don't read my blog ... if they do then they'll know some of my secrets!  So this one is being put out there so everyone can benefit from it and maybe you can do it too!

When you have to dress in business clothing there's a whole process that is involved, as some of you know.  The big thing is ironing the clothes - the pants and especially the shirts.  This is mostly for the guys but I think the girls might be able to find this useful as well.  There comes a time in people's professional lives that you just can't and don't want to sit there for hours ironing dress shirts that you just got out of the laundry.  Sure you can take them straight out of the dryer and hang them, but they aren't crisp and they don't have those iron lines on the sleeves and or legs of the pants.  

Dry cleaning you say?  I've been down that road before and although it's a good place to take your dress clothes to be cleaned and ironed, it often gets pricey at about $2.50 a shirt.  So if you buy a $50 shirt and wear it a lot, then you're going to end up paying more for the cleaning and ironing of that shirt in the long run than the actual purchase price.  I know a lot of us aren't that loaded (but I soon will be thanks to Monica!) so we have to find other means.

There have been days where I would have sweatshop type labor since I needed my clothes ironed.  I would pay my niece and/or nephew $20 for all my shirts, there was a good amount of shirts so it was cheaper than the dry cleaning.  The problem with that was they would constantly complain that there were too many shirts, or they didn't get the wrinkles out.

The following rational isn't going to make sense to some people but it did to me at the time I was doing it.  Instead of washing my dress shirts and ironing them, I would just buy new ones and use those for about a week, then they would go into the pile of clothes that need to be washed and ironed.  This only went on for a few weeks as I started to run out of money, and ended up with way more dress shirts than I needed.

So the solution to all of this madness is quite easy.  It's not sitting down on a Sunday aftenoon and ironing all your work clothes, noooo that's the hard way out!  Quite possibly the best solution, but also the hardest.  Well for me it takes me about 5-10 minutes a shirt as I try to get it nice and clean with the iron and the lines on the sleeves, so it takes a while!

Now the results will vary, but it's better when you have the white button down shirts instead of the colored ones.  The reason being is that the colored shirts are remembered moreso than the white ones, and the one shirts have more combinations that can be made.  What combinations is he talking about?

Monday comes and you only have one shirt ironed, luckily it's a white button down shirt that you happened to iron and is clean.  Nice and fresh, so you go into work wearing that and black slacks ... see the pants are not as important because people don't look at your pants as much as they do with the shirt.  

Tuesday shows it's ugly head and you find that no shirts are fresh and clean anymore!  You see that white shirt you wore yesterday, but do you dare wear it again?  Yes you do, but this time you add a nice tie to the mix!  Ahhhh brand new outfit, the white shirt loses focus as it's a common fact that guys have more white shirts than other shirts, so it could just be another white shirt and not the white shirt you wore yesterday.

Halfway there, Wednesday is here.  So now you have the option of keeping the shirt and just changing the tie color, or you can go a little further.  In the colder months, you can add a sweater on top of the white shirt to, again bring out a brand new outfit.  

Thursday comes and there is that white shirt sitting there, make sure there aren't any food stains or odors coming from the shirt, if there is ... then you have to ditch this plan and actually iron another shirt.  But if you're still alright and the shirt looks clean, then add a simple sweater vest to it to jazz it up.  No one will be the wiser and no one will notice that it's the same white shirt since Monday.  Guaranteed!

Friday, almost home free!  Put that clean looking white shirt on one more time, don't put a tie on, don't put a sweater on or a vest even, we're going to go a step up and add a nice suit jacket to the onsamble!  If you want to make the best impression, add a different colored tie too.  See now the white shirt again is forgotten and the only thing people can focus on is you're wearing a suit on a Friday!  Wow you must be a real good employee when you're wearing a suit (and possibly a tie) to the last workday of the week.  Either that or you must be meeting with someone important or you yourself are very important!

You see what we just did here, we were able to pull of wearing the same white button down shirt for a five day work week without having to iron.  It's just like a magician, you need to direct the attention away from the meat of he trick.  So divert the attention away from the white shirt with the sweaters, the ties, the vest and the suit jacket.  Remember the key thing is to keep the shirt stain and odor free, that's the key.  If there is a stain, it will easily be remembered ... "hey Bob, didn't you stop that slice of pizza on yourself yesterday?  That stain looks like it's in the same spot" ... bam your cover is blown!  

There you have it, if you can pull this off, come Friday when you're heading home, you'll feel this sense of accomplishment, just make sure that you wash that shirt well during laundry day because going more than one week will not be good.  It will take David Cooperfield to pull that off and I don't think we're even close to that level.  Don't get overconfident, that's what causes the downfall of most people trying this.  

+ mon

2 Secrets 1 Day

Dang what's going on today ... I feel like spilling the beans about my childhood?!  

Well this sort of goes in line with the post about the "Penny crush" that I posted earlier.  I'm not really sure why I'm putting this out there for all the interwebs to see, especially knowing that whatever you put up here stays here forever!  

So here goes ... once I got out of that "girls are ikky" stage, I started to pay attention to them a lot more.  I remember having this little dresser next to my bed that had a lot of stuff in it, just random things that I kept.  If you removed the bottom drawer there was an empty space left and the only thing you'll see is a small sky blue homework pad notebook.  You know those spiral notebooks, but the extremely small ones, yeah those.  

I don't know why and I'm not sure where I got the idea from but I used this notebook for keeping a list of girls that I liked.  It was my little skyblue book that just had a list of their names.  Of course it had Penny's name in there (everyone laugh!) and it had real people too, along with people I saw on TV!  Sometimes I didn't know their names on TV so I would write a small description of how they looked.

So that's the second secret that I've told you today!  Oh and this little sky blue book ... my mom found it one time when she was cleaning my drawers.  She told me that I had a lot of friends in my book and I had no idea what she was talking about until she asked me who all they were because she noticed they were all girl names ... I flipped and ran to my "hiding spot" to check if the sacred book had been touched and indeed it was.  I was in a panic and didn't know what to do, but had to think quickly and just tell her that they are friends from school ... as I cried getting mad at her for going through my things hAhA!  She called me "buang" (translated it means crazy), because I just started crying.

Again, I was about 9 or 10 years old when this all happened!  Damn ...

+ mon

One of my Hidden Secrets!

OoOoo that title got you interested in what I'm going to write huh!??  Well it's a simple stupid secret from when I was a little kid that I just remembered yesterday, I don't know what triggered the memory but here it goes.  I know that if/when I get rich and famous, this secret is going to get out and it's going to ruin me ... but it's all for the entertainment of whomever reads this blog.

Soooo, when I was 8, 9, 10 or 11 - I don't remember but it was around that time, I used to watch a lot of cartoons.  These were the days when cartoons were still good!  There was one cartoon in particular that I used to watch a lot of, Inspector Gadget.  You know the song is playing in your head now (if not, search for it on Youtube to bring back the memories).  Well there was a girl on that show, Penny, it was Inspector Gadgets niece.  I guess this was a foreshadowing of the geek and techie in me ... because she was a geek and she had gadgets and was very techie.  I think she might have been my first (of many) cartoon crushes when I was a kid ... I won't get into the other ones because I can't remember.

Well we've established that I had a crush on Penny from Inspector Gadget when I was a little kid.  But that's not the secret!  The secret is that whenever she would be on the show and I was there watching, I would kiss the TV screen ... 

[insert awkward silence]

Yes I was a sick little perverted kid ... geese.  Alright that's the secret, I'm guess I'll have a bunch of Inspector Gadget jokes thrown at me from now on since this is out there for all the interwebs to read.  

+ mon

Update on Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 10:47AM by MONStar

Please keep in mind that I was around 8 ... or 11 years old!  So I was a cute little kid doing this!  Don't picture "big Simon" doing that because it's just weird!  But picture that skinny kid with the giant head and huge ears that didn't fit his head [yet] kissing the TV screen because of his cartoon crush ... say it with me now ... awwwwwwwwww isn't that cute!

+ mon