Musical Subway Chairs

We've all been through this, or seen this where people fight to get a seat on the subway, well not fight, but sometimes we just walk faster than anyone else.  I don't think there's going to be a point to this topic but again this is just me rambling about my daily experiences.

So here we are, paying our $2.00 to get into the subway, well for that amount of money, I better get a seat!  You know about a hundred other people are thinking the same way, and especially the "older" people.

There have been so many times where I've gotten on the train, and after taking it day in and out, I kind of know where the train doors will stop so I can be the first one in, that an older lady (it's usually a lady) will try to squeeze in right next to me or even in front of me to get in that door first.  It doesn't matter if I've been standing there in the same spot for 10 minutes waiting for the train.  It doesn't even matter if there are people who are trying to get out of the train, they will stand there as if no one else exists and try to get into the train car while people are going in. 

The reason for this ... to get that most desired place on the train, the empty seat.

It's not hard to find these seat scavengers, that's right I call them seat scavengers!  They'll fight their way to the seat no matter what, whatever the cost.  Be it elbowing someone or "accidently" stepping on someone's foot, or just standing 2 inches in front of them as the train doors open.  It's survival of the fittest here.

You may think that this battle ends when you have won the seat and are sitting down, but think again!  The battle rages on even passed that, and it is no longer a physical war, but now it's a mental battle and sometimes emotions come into play as well. 

I have bared witness to many older people (again mostly ladies!) stand directly in front of you after you have been able to get a seat.  They will stand directly in front of you, almost in your lap, sometimes even with a leg in between yours, and wait ... and wait ... and wait until you are weakened by their fragile appearance and want to give your seat up to this elderly person who is swinging back and forth on this pole like a flag.

There have been instances where that person would stand in front of me and start to rub their knees or look like they are in pain, all this to get me to give my seat up.  But only the strong survive, and I have to be strong at these times.  The worst part is when there's a very attractive lady sitting next to you (only for an instant) who seems this, and sees that you're not a gentleman willing to give up their seat, then that lady gives their seat to the elderly person posing as someone in pain!  What can you do in that situation?  You can't necessarily get up and offer your seat to that lady ...

Some people who read this and are not from NYC might think that this is all a bunch of hogwash, that it's as simple as getting an empty seat or standing there, well that my friends is just false!  The battle for a seat in the subway is real and I have been on the frontlines day in and day out.

The enemies vary ... the elderly who cut you off for the seat, the elderly who stay watch as close as posslble to you and entice you with their pain and agony, the ghetto people who spread their legs as far apart as possible (maybe to keep their fat balls from sweating ... sorry that was uncalled for but this topic gets me upset!), the people who fake falling asleep while taking up more than one seat, the ones who set their bags in the seat next to them, the people with strollers who think that just because you have a stroller entitles you to have two seats, the ghetto person counting on their look to scare you away from even attempting to fit into that small space they left you to fit part of your butt. 

All these enemies come in differnt shapes and forms, but those above are the most common of them!  This is a battle that I refuse to give up on ... after all I did pay my $2.00.  If there's a seat, regardless if I'm going to race for it, squeeze into it, or wake someone up to get it, I will do what I have to do.

But the game is over when you are faced with the big boss in this game.  It's a battle that you cannot win, when you are facing the pregnant lady.  There is almost no way around this, especially if you're running after one open seat and that lady incorporates the elderly tactic of pain and close contact, how can you not give up that seat. 

I have the answer because I have done it many times before, and you might think of me as a barbarian for this and for not giving up my seat to a pregnant lady, but the secret is to not make any eye contact.  To look in the total opposte direction of this enemy combatant. 

Or you could just be nice and offer that pregnant lady your seat, and sometimes you'll get lucky and they will tell you that it's alright.  So you've come out of the situation as a gentleman and you get to keep your seat!  But remember this my friends, this does not come often, so when the day comes that this comes to you, remember it and cherish it!

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