The Big 3-0!

My birthday was last Wednesday and it was the 30th ... damn just typing that out makes me feel old!  Some people were telling me that I should make it a big party or celebration since it's a big milestone, another word that makes me feel old ... "milestone."

I was going to try to plan a party in this place I found in the city but that didn't end up happening since the place never called me back and it would have been a good amount of money to put down anyways.  There was really no plans for that night, the only thing I knew was that my dad was cutting up the stuff for the lumpia that he was going to cook for me that night.

It just so happened that Wednesday was also my volleyball game night that I could not miss since we were already short a few people.  Here at work, I tried to keep it under wraps as much as I could because I didn't want them throwing me a surprise party at work, that's what we usually do when it's someone's birthday.  The plan was for me to go straight home after volleyball to have dinner with the fam, well we can plan as much as we want but that doesn't mean it's always going to go as planned.  Right after the game the team decided to go to a local bar and get me some shots for my birthday, and that they did.  After four shots, I had to call it quits and head on home, but I couldn't take the subway in my state so I decided to call for a car.  Arvin was with me and for some reason I had a weird feeling that something was up and planned.  When we were in the bar Arvin came from outside saying that we had to go because my dad just called him looking for me.  That was strange to me since I had signal but no phone calls ... but the liquor was working it's magic so I quickly forgot.

On the ride home I was joking with Arvin that I hope there isn't a surprise birthday party for me ... and he didn't respond.  I said it again and he ignored me ... my spidey senses were going off again.  Finally got to the house after traffic and as I was walking down the stairs to the front door, I saw people peeking in the window and thought that was strange but didn't really think much of it.  Diday has to open the door since I had my keys in my jacket and my jacket was all the way in my bag.  

In the traditional Simon routine I would start taking my shirt off right before I came through the door because it was hot, good thing this wasn't one of those times that I did that!  As I walk in through the door I saw a whole bunch of family and friends in my house, I don't even remember heading "surprise!" because I was in shock from everyone there.  

I think this was actually the first surprise party that I've had thrown for me!  I joked with Arvin in the car ride that I hope there isn't a surprise party because with my luck I'll have a heart attack from all the excitement!  There everyone was eating and drinking ... some of the food was already gone because I had gotten there two hours late!!!

Here I was in my volleyball clothes, smelling of sweat and liquor with everyone around me.  As I got my gifts, I started to wonder something ... why were all of my gifts food!?  I'm not complaining by any means, but is that what I'm known for, food? lol

The first gift was the "monwich!" which was insane!  To this day I'm still not even sure what was in it, but this is what I think was inside that monster of a sandwich.  There was McDonalds hamburger patties, clam strips and chicken rings from White Castle, Spam, cheese and I garlic mayo!  It was heavy when I held the entire sandwich in my hand, but oh so good when I got a bite of it!  The combination of foods doesn't sound appetizing to some, but it's good stuff.  Ody then handed me his gift ... the beast!  Damn people are trying to make me have a heart attack, but I'm not complaining!  I couldn't touch the beast that night, I had to wait until Thursday night to eat some of that beast.  There is still some of the monwich left, but that will be gone pretty soon.  Loan got me an M&M cake that I wasn't able to eat, but I did get a taste of that famous dip that she made!  Just a taste!  Apparently in my two hour tardiness, the surprisers consumed most if not all of the dip and also the chips!  I used the monwich to clean up the bowl with the remaining dip ... that was a good combination too!

Part of the family culture that we have liquor.  I've always tried to stay away from it and well when I do have some, you know that I don't drink much!  Here we were blowing out the candles and I was given a shot of some Southern Comfort.  Then another ... then another.  good thing there wasn't that much left or else I'm afraid the shots would have just kept on coming!  After a few minutes needless to say I was using the walls and other people for support.  There were instances of yacking but luckily I was able to keep everything down, it would have been a waste of all the wonderfull food I just ate!  

I'm not sure what I started saying but I hope it wasn't too revealing and it seems that when I drink and it starts to take it's effect, I end up on the floor for one reason or another.  Wednesday night was no exception.  

It was an awesome brithday party and thank you to all the people who came and put it together!!!  

I remember finding a nice spot on the carpet where I just stayed for a little bit until everyone ended up going home for the night.  But I still had people coming over!  G and his cousin were still on the way and we ended up going to Hooters for a little bit.  Chicken wings and sangria ... the combination of champions!

So here I am, the dirty thirty.  Just that word really makes me feel older ... I prefer this to be my one year anniversary of being 29.  

The next day was work and I still have no idea how I made it into work ... with the famous words of many individuals who have ended up on the bad side of a drunken night ... I'm never drinking again.  

+ mon

Introduction to the Family

Bringing someone into the Raymundo family isn't really that hard, I find it that we're very welcoming to "newcomers."  But sometimes it's hard for those coming in to fit in and get along or just get used to the our family.

Shadow has been in my family for a while now and he's what we like to call anti social.  He doesn't like other dogs, he doesn't like other people except for the people in my house, and sometimes that's even hit or miss.  

His mom, Becky was the total opposite.  She loved other people and was very friendly with them.  Other dogs, she would try to get to know, until Shadow would try to attack them.  That's how it worked when Becky was still here.

The other week we had a birthday party for Rosly and Rini.  It was a "dog party" where everyone brought their dogs.  This wasn't any ordinary dog party, it was more of a Raymundo/Malonzo family party including our dogs!  

Shadow has this thing when I'm about to leave the house, he will stay on the bed and get sad knowing that I won't be home.  I decided to surprise him and not tell him that he was going with us until the very last minute.  There he was on the bed with his eyes staring at me as if he was saying "you're leaving again me home alone again :(" but when I grab his leash he knows that he's going with me!  His eyes grew bigger and he ran for me to leash him up and take him outside.  When we get outside he sees the car door open and waits for me to carry him, being vertically challenged he needs some help now and then.

The whole ride you could hear him as he was excited to figure out where we were going.  As soon as we got to the park there was already a big black dog waiting to welcome him, not part of our family though.  Shadow in his typical response to other dogs went into attack mode.  He's done this a few times before when I was walking him around the block, one time in particular was against another chihuahua.  It was a female and I thought that Shadow might like her, and also a good way for me to meet the owner!  Shadow barely made his rounds of smelling her when he got into the attack position while growling at her.  This was the same reaction to the black dog in front of the park.

When we made it to where we setup everyone was already welcoming to Shadow!  They all knew his name and was surprised that he made it out of the house, it was the first time they had seem him leave my front door, or maybe even the first time they have seen him leave my room.  I guess he's like me, he likes to stay home a lot.  So there he was in the middle of the family and not knowing if he should be friendly or if he should be angry at everyone.  Not only that but he was introduced to the K-9 part of the family too!  Rini was there in her dress and a few others that started to come in one by one.  

I was scared thinking that he would go on the attack again, but he didn't.  The only time he would growl was when [Chick] Magnet would try to smell his butt.  Max was another dog there that really seemed interested in Shadow's butt, but he was not having that.  The whole day he stayed by me and there were a few times where he wandered away, even letting Cindy take him for a short run!  

His transition to the family was a little awkard at first, since all he did was sit in the corner and be by himself.  But we'll see how it goes from here, it's good to have him meet the other family members and maybe I'll take him to more family functions.

Until the next outing, Shadow waits in the bed.

http://public.fotki.com/bnpnyc/family/090425_rini_roslyn_bday/

+ mon

It's Been a While

About eight days since my last entry and it's because there has been a lot going on so here I am now ... posting about the happenings.

Over a week since my last entry and it's mostly because I've been trying to help one of my best friends go through something that I went through more than two years ago.  

As I was home I got a call from G asking if I could make my way over to NJ to help them out a bit.  Just some history, his father had undergone a triple bypass and was in rehab for almost two weeks.  There in rehab he was doing fine, we even went there to visit him and my dad and his dad were comparing scars from their bypass.  I felt left out when they were doing this, so naturally I walked to the foot of the bed and lifted my shirt up as well just to join in the comparison.  

It was extremely sudden when we heard the news that his dad had gone into a coma and there was no explanation as to the real reason why, I still don't think that there is one.  

When G called me Tuesday of last week, he told me that the doctors are only giving his dad about one or two days left.  Thinking back to my mom, the doctors had told us that she had about three to six months left and I think they always over estimate for the best case scenario.  When we got to the hospital in Jersey, I ended up taking Diday with me, just so I didn't go solo, we saw the family and everyone was understandably shaken up.  They were just going to spend time with him by his bedside until that time came.  

Visiting Tito Louie there and seeing him in the bed, it gave me flashbacks of my mom and I just tried to be "strong" for G and his family.  It's different for me now, I have a different view of death ever since my mom's passing, but regardless of my views, losing a loved one hurts tremendously.  

Seeing the family going through the various emotions that come with it, and trying your best to comfort them is always difficult, there are never words that are enough to help.  Tito Louie passed away later that night at around 12:25am.  The typical words of "condolence" or "I'm sorry" filled my head and that's what I wanted to say, but if I did it would just be because it was the normal thing to do.  I can never find the words when it comes to a friend of mine losing someone ... even that phrase "losing someone" speaks volumes of how we as a society view death.  It's not really losing a person when they die, it's a long vacation until everyone is reunited again ... yes I do believe that there is a heaven and hopefully we can all get there.  

There was nothing I could say, and all I could do was be there for them.  

When the wake came around, I went to give my respect and support, and remembered that the priest told us that the funeral and everything else is for the family and friends and not really for the one who passed away.  It was a time where everyone should be there and pray for the family now.  

One thing about wakes and funerals that I've noticed is that it's a big reunion, that always seems to be the case.  People who you haven't seen for years will show up and it will be like old times, even for those few moments.  

The sadness of having someone pass away is definitely there, but when I pass I think I want things to be different.  Instead of all the sadness, I want there to be laughing and smiling all around.  This is where my view of death is now, it used to be something that just sucked.  Where it's going to happen and we have to deal with it and also deal with "losing" someone.  But now I see it as a blessing, it happens when it happens and there isn't a way to stop it.  When it's your time, it's your time.  

I see it as a transition now, from this life we have here on earth to whatever it is that comes after.  Be it heaven with the white clouds and the golden gates, or something different.  I do believe there's something after and that all the loved ones are reunited during that time.  Although we will miss those that pass before us, there's going to be a time when we see them again and it's just a temporary thing.

When I was a kid I remember Tito Louie because I used to go to G's house a lot.  There were times when I would sleep over and the morning would be great with his breakfast cooked and ready to go as soon as we woke up.  There was also that basketball hoop that he made for G in the backyard, that was something that I also loved because I would dunk on it since it was our height.  So many different memories and one memory that sticks out is when I was at G's house and we were having a practice session for DJing.  He came into the room at around 1am and asked us what we were doing and took an interest in it ... his one remark that will play in my head forever is "where's your um-flee?" meaning to ask us where our amplifier was.  There he stood in the doorway in nothing more than his briefs.  The reason this is one of the moments that I won't forget is because this is how my dad is with me, very comfortable.  

With the passing of my mom, it opened my eyes to the importance of my parents more.  I guess that's one of the reasons why I push my friends and the youth I work with to be with their parents more because they don't know when the time is going to be up.  Ever since my mom, I've taken as much time possible to spend with my dad.  Just being at home and us watching the dumbest of movies, or watching a basketball game together means the world to me.  The first night after the wake we went home and it was just him and I again.  That night was the boxing match and there were a few places closeby to watch it, but he was tired and didn't want to go.  So we ended up ordering the fight to watch, just the two of us and it was nice to bond in that way.  My dad and I with my sister on the phone, screaming our heads off and enjoying the fight and moreso each other's company.  For me it's time well spent, instead of me going out and hanging out, I know that my time with my dad is limited especially since he goes back to Philippines often, so whatever time I do get with him is important to me.  

I know G had a lot of great memories with Tito Louie, and I do hope that I can continue to create more with my dad.  Tito Louie treated me like a son everytime I was around, and I will miss him dearly, from his cooking, to his carpentry, to his hats, and Christmas creations the list of the things missed will go on.  May he rest in peace and may his family find comfort as well.

+ mon

Family Pasalubong

A while back my cousin Lissa from Houston came to town and as with Filipino families she came with "pasalubong." That's usually the custom when going to visit family or friends where we bring small gifts or something from where we're from. So if I were coming from NY visiting Houston I should be bringing "I <3 NY" shirts but I'm a horrible cousin so I never do.

With her she brought something that was just so awesome! It wasn't a shirt or a key chain, it was so much better than I could have ever imagined! I'm not sure if I should be sharing this as this was a huge gift and I'm not sure if she brought anything for everyone else ... but I have to give props where props are deserved!

Last year when we went there for her wedding, right before flying back to NY I went to Jack in the Box and bought about 20-30 Sourdough Jacks, froze them and packed them up to bring back to NY. I guess this stuck out and made a lasting impression not only on her but on a lot of my family members as they remember it clearly. I even got advice that I should ask them to make it without the tomatoes so that it lasts longer. Lissa came to NY with two Sourdough Jacks, that was more than enough for me! I was't expecting anything but she brought whatever she could and was that a great gift.

I didn't eat it right away as I wanted to save it for later. Only a few days passed where I ended up opening up one of the sandwiches, leaving the other one lonely in the freezer.

When I brought them back from Houston I kept it in the original packaging and then just stuck them all in a plastic bag and froze them. I had a hard time getting her packaging open ... she had each one wrapped in a plastic bag.

After the wrapping of the outside plastic bag, there was the burger wrapped in foil.  It was as close to mummified as possible.  The feeling was that of Christmas morning when you open your gifts that are under the tree, with the gift being wrapped with extreme care.  After the foil as removed there was just one more layer to get through, it was another layer of plastic wrap.  Three or four layers later the wonderful scent of the sandwich was unleashed. 

Taking that deep breathe and then putting it in the toaster oven to heat it, I couldn't wait!  Well this isn't a food review, but an entry on the kindess of family and the thoughtfulness of the gift. It was wonderful as I remembered and it was just great to have that taste of the sandwich melt in my mouth.

Thank you Lissa!  The packaging was extremely efficient and definitely something that looked like it was going to last through the coming apocalypse.  I still have one left and when I do eat that I'll be ready to get it out of the packaging with a box cutter and a pair of pliers. 

I will gladly accept some more of your pasalubong next time you head up north.  I'll trade you some Hop Kee for some Jack in the Box.

+ mon

Fortunate Childhood

In the subway this morning I was thinking about what I could write about and was wondering if anything interesting would happen during that train ride, well nothing except me sleeping happened, but the only thoughts that did come to mind were when I was a kid and the childhood memories from 90th street - and there are a lot of memories!

So it brings me to this entry and looking back at how I grew up.  I didn't get that suburban childhood growing up in a house with trees all around and a culdasack where the kids from the neighborhood would play, even though when I was younger I would see that on TV and think that that's how I wish my neighborhood was.  But seeing it for what it really was now, my childhood was better than that of which I saw on the shows on TV, I grew up in Elmhurst, to be more specific 90th street.

This is the block where dreams happened and where you could do whatever you wanted, there was no limit ... well actually there was a limit, it's called parents.  

We did whatever we wanted, we ran things on 90th street!  Well maybe we didn't actually run things, but you know what I mean, it was our playground and no matter what we did, no matter what injury we had, no matter how in trouble we got, next day was a new day to start over again.

One of the main activities was the baseball games in the driveway to the garage, and if you were good enough to hit one off of the block and across the street, you had to deal with the lady in all black that was dubbed "get outta here" as that was the only thing we ever heard her say.  Those baseball days often ended because a ball would be fouled onto the room of the neighboring building, where we had no access.  But if that foul ball would just go over the 15 foot fence separating the two, we found a way to cilmb that beast of a fence and get our balls back.  One memory that really sticks out for me was when that fence was newly build to keep us out and keep us from climbing to get our foul balls, and it was my "turn" to get the ball ... as I was climbing back to the playing field, I found myself on the very top of that fence.  My apartment was in the back of our building so my parents bedroom window was right there and I heard it opening and my dads voice calling me.  If he had caught me on top of that fence, it would have been over for me!  So I did what any kid my age would do ... jump from that high in a panic!  I landed and stood there as my dad stuck his head out the window asking me a question, I stood there as if I had been standing there for a while and not just have jumped off a fence.  My feet were burning and I had to wait for him to go back in the window for me to take my shoes off and care for my feet.  

That's just one story from that baseball alley ... another quick one was when we played baseball with a basketball and I was the pitcher.  My cousin Michael swung and hit the basketball right back towards me, I didn't have time to react and it hit me right in my nose where I started crying as he rounded the "bases" with a homerun.

Another daily activity was skateboarding, ahhh yes, we skated way back before it was popular as it is now.  The first trick that I learned was the bunny hop which was simply jumping a little on your board as you hit a small bump from the sidewalk blocks.  Too many memories with this as well, but the one that sticks out and I'm sure we'll all remember had to do with my cousin Jay's board.  He had a free style board, similar to the ones that Rodney Mullen would use.  As we were skating outside, a group of other skaters came by and started talking to us.  They were saying how nice our boards where and we were flattered, but some of us were a bit cautious.  I remember one of them asking to see one of boards, it was the banana shaped yellow board (I can't remember who had that), and they said no.  They asked if they could see someone else's board and they said no.  Then they got to Jay and Jay being the oldest one of us said yes and let them see his board.  All I can remember is one of them saying ... "man nice board" and this was right before they ran to the other block and put Jay's board on top of the hood of a parked car.  There they proceeded to take the wheels off and steal part of his board!  We stood there not knowing what to do since these skaters were older than we were.  Needless to say, Jay was without a board that day and we had learned a valuable lesson in trust, even amongst fellow skaters.  

There are just too many memories to write about, I'll save those for another entry.  But growing up, being surrounded by family all the time was great.  Having cousins there everyday to play with, or just sit in front of the apartment doing nothing with was something that can't be replaced by suburban living.  Sure we didn't live in the best part of town, but we made it that way.  It was our block and we took full advantage of the fact that we were so close, physically and in friendship and family.  

This extended to the adults in our families too, where we had family gatherings together, but they didn't see each other as much as us kids saw each other.  Maybe that's why I didn't do too well in school?  I would rush home, and either finish my homework as fast as possible so I could go out and "play" or I would wait to do my homework later that night so I could get outside and figure out what the cousins would be doing today ... would it be throwing bottle rockets from John's basement, would it be sharing one bike that we would take turns riding around the block, would it be to play on the milk crate with the bottom cut out that Michael had nailed to the telephone pole, would it be to go to someone's house and play with our GI Joes or play bingo (yes bingo!) ... it was endless.  

My childhood is one that I remember and will always remember, even when I drive by the old block, new old memories come back.  It also paved the way to keeping the bond with us cousins tight, we don't do the same things anymore, but when we do get together, we sometimes reminisce and we always new memories.  It's good to be surrounded by family, good to have them around, and I miss those days where we could just be carefree and did whatever we want without having to worry about the consequences until they actually were right in our face.  

I sometimes wonder if everyone has a 90th street growing up?  

+ mon

Time Well Spent

After my mom passed away in 2006 I started to look at things differently.  At first it took it really hard and was really angry ... with myself.  There were a few reasons I was angry with myself but I guess I'll start with what happened late that summer.

It was in late August or early September that the Summer of Champions (a sports weekend) was going to happen in Michigan.  Along with the youth, we were going there to join in the weekend activities.  I'm trying to remember and I think we were leaving on a Friday since it was a 10 hour drive.  The night before I had gotten into a fight with my mom, it was this whole misunderstanding but nonetheless it was a fight.  

That night ended with the typical not talking to each other since we both felt we were the one who was right and the other was wrong.  So I left that Friday and just a very simple good bye to my mom. 

After the weekend was done, we were just leaving the venue and starting our trip back to NY when I called my sister and she told me that my mom was in the hospital.  Well you could imagine how this made me feel, it's one of those situations you see in the movies where you just had a fight with someone you love and you leave them saying something horrible or in not so good terms.  Then you come to find out that someone bad has happened to that person ... and you just feel so horrible.  Well that was me.

After getting back to NY and visiting my mom, we had thought everything was going to be alright.  During the past few years prior, she had been going into the hospital maybe one weekend or two weekends for the year because she wasn't feeling well.  So we were "used" to it.  And this weekend was no different, she spent a few nights in the hospital and then went home.  Here I was thinking that it was just "routine" that she went to the hospital.  Well for those few nights in the hospital, we did make up, and were normal again.  One thing to understand is when I say "make up" we didn't hug it out and talk about it, that was never how it was with us, it would just pass and we'd be back to normal again until the next incident.  

After a day or two of being at home, my mom ended up in the hospital again and she wouldn't come back to the house anymore, but none of us knew that just yet.  

Things change so much when you learn that your mom is going to die.  I remember sitting in that doctors office when they told us that she didn't have long to live, and that she had at most 6 months before she was going to pass.  My defense mechanisms went up, but that's more than I can say for some other family members who reacted with however they were feeling when they heard that news.  For me, I tried to be "cool" about it and tried to make a "plan" for her.  The plan was to get her better here and out of the hospital so she could go home to the Philippines and spend the rest of her days there.  That was my focus for all of about 1 day.  I would repeat that "plan" I had to my family over and over again during that day.  But that all went out the window the following day when I realized that my mom was dying ... and there wasn't much time left.  

The reality of the situation hit me, all those years that I fought with her, all those times that I was "bad" and didn't listen, everything came back to haunt me.  All those moments became "I wish I could have [fill in the blank]."  Everything else took a backseat on my priority list, work, BNP, whatever it was, my mom was #1 now ... but it's a bit sad that it takes something like stage 4 cancer to make me put her on the top of my list when she should have been there to begin with.

Work wasn't an issue as I told my boss that I wouldn't be at work everyday and some days I'd only be there for a few hours, just so I could spend time with her in the hospital.  I remember I would sit there and just be on my laptop.  We wouldn't even talk sometimes, it was just silent as she rested or people came to visit.  But it was still quality time for us ... just being there together.  

I had so much time to think during that month she was in the hospital and none more than the 2nd to last night I was there.  Her condition was getting worse and really quickly, the plans of the hospital and the doctors and even my plans weren't going to happen.  So we started to stay with her on overnight stays, we would switch nights.  It was the second to last night that she would be alive that I spent with her ... I parked myself on the left side of her bed with two chairs, one for me and one for my laptop.  I sat there with my laptop on as she rested and slept.  The times she woke up, we were talking, at this point I couldn't understand what she said verbally because her throat was so dry, but I knew what she was telling me.  That night was a really nice night together, we spent the night talking, praying together, and I even let her listen to some of her favorite songs which she hummed along to.  This was a night that was meant to happen as I said my sorries and "I love you's."  

Sometimes it takes something so tragic to happen in our lives for us to realize certain things to make things happen.  And my mom's passing was one of those things that makes me see things differently, see things clearer.  

During my childhood and teenage years, I grew farther from my parents.  I guess it's just how things go sometimes or as the "norm" where you don't want to good with your parents because that's not the "cool" thing.  So I kept my distance from them, I closed them out of parts of my life.  But that all changed, all of it.

It's just horrible how it had to happen later in the course of our relationship.  Especially with my dad, I always had a good relationship with him, but nothing to write home about.  So now that he comes back and forth from Philippines to here every few months, I've come to treasure the time that he does spend here with us.  BNP keeps him busy here and he likes it, but the times when he's just at home and isn't doing anything, I like to be there with him, doing nothing too.  Sometimes we'll even go on that father son outing and go watch a movie ... or four and then go grab some good ol' chinese food afterwards.  I definitely think that we've grown closer and I've been more open to him about anything and everything. 

During the time my mom passed away, my dad's brother in LA passed away two days before and I remember when my dad had found out that my mom would be passing away soon he planned with his brother that they would be travel buddies and they would hang out together since they would both be widowers.  Then when my uncle passed away ... my dad didn't know what to do.  I remember him specifically asking what he was going to do now that his brother passed away because he was going to be his travel buddy once my mom left.  

So here I find myself as my dad's semi travel buddy.  We take trips to Delaware and wherever else we decide from time to time, even if it's just to Fresh Meadows to catch those movies.  This Holy Week we're going to Cali for the BNP activities there, and a bunch of the youth are going.  My dad had wanted to go see the Grand Canyon so that would have been another trip we'd take together.  There's going to be a few youth that are staying with us for the whole trip so that's a good thing, it'll keep things fun and my dad likes them around (sometimes!).  I think the youth find my dad funny too, so it should be fun..  We're going to see if we'll make it to the Grand Canyon, my dad found out how far it was and changed his mind, but whatever we figure out, I'm down as long as it's with him.

As I said, I like to spend time with him and find it meaningful, even if it's just us watching the Knicks game as I talk about how good some of the players are and he just says they all suck.  A lot of the nights my friends are out but I'll just stay home and be with him, there have been a few times when I did go out and he would tell me not to stay out too late, it seemed as if he would be lonely just being home alone, so I would do my best to get home earlier rather than later so we could chill.  

Work has been crazy for the past few months where I've been working a lot of hours and coming home late.  During one meeting my boss said that he always saw his work as something to put food on the table and to provide for his family, but the quality of life was always what was important to him.  He would do everything to get his work done so he could leave at 5:30pm and not have to stay the overtime.  Sure the overtime pay is great but the time spent with family is much more rewarding.  That's what I've been trying to do since we've had that meeting.  My overtime hours have been less and I've been spending more time at home now ... my dad seems to like it even if we are in our own rooms, just having someone in the house I guess makes him feel better.

So here I am on another Saturday night as my dad is on the phone, spending the day just watching movies in the living room with Shadow and eating Popeyes that Diday brought for dinner.  It's just my dad and me tonight with absolutely nothing else to do ... and this is perfect.  

+ mon

The Return of the Red Panther

One of the reasons, well the main reason we went to Delaware this weekend was to pick up my dad's old car.  It's the 91 Camry that has been through a thing or two, at one point it was rockin' a three tone paint job!  Ahhh yes I said THREE.  Sure you've heard of the two tone paint job, but this one was the three tone, pimpin'.  The front drivers side fender was a dark blue, the passenger side door was gray and the rest of the body was maroon.

Now the way it got the multi colors is a whole different entry, but I'll give you a little tid bit.  The front fender, was caused by getting rammed twice by an SUV.  The passenger door was caused by a not so smart man who stepped on the gas when the light turned green, even though there was a car directly in front of him.

I remember when my dad had to get rid of his old car, the white Mitsubishi Galant.  It was the first car that he bought here in the US and he loved that car.  When the non profit org towed it away, he was really sad.  I think the same went when we drove this 91 Camry to Delaware to give it to my sister.

There is definitely sentimental value in it, him and my mom drove in that car a lot.  When we were about to take the car back home today, he was checking it out and opening the door.  I was a little bit aways but I told my sister that he was getting flashbacks, and old memories were coming back.  He then sat in the drivers seat and started the car.  A few minutes went by as he just sat there soaking it all in, it's just like how when we get a new car and we sit there once we had bought it or decided that we're buying it, and take a deep breath to get that "new car smell."  Well he was sitting in there and taking that deep breath to get that old car smell.  My brother in law was telling him to becareful with this and that on the car, and my dad simply replied ... "I know this car."

I told him to go ahead of me since I wasn't sure how fast he'd be driving it, and if it would even make it back to NY!  He went about 20-30 minutes ahead of me ... and I was going to catch up with him.  I was doing about 90-100 on the turnpike, really I was.  Trying to catch up with him as fast as I could just incase there was any problems.  About 45 minutes goes by and nothing!  I thought maybe I had missed him, or he went into the single rest area that I didn't check, I did stop by the other rest area to check if he was there, but to no avail.  I finally caught up to him on exit 8 and pull along side him to let him know that I was there.  He was in the slow lane going about 60-65.  So I pull up in front of him going the same speed, when we reached a rest area.  He followed me in and we parked next to each other, he got out of his car and stood there leaning on the car, sort of posing.  There was a huge smile on his face!  It was a kool-aid smiel for sure!  He didn't say anything and just smiled and I smiled back ... then he said he was hungry and went to get some food. 

My dad is very happy to have his car back, the kids had dubbed it the Red Panther.  So it's returned, and I also have memories with this car, a lot of them.  The youth also have a lot of memories with this car!  This is the car that I hit 117mph with, this is the car where I fit 9 people, this is the car where I got my first speeding ticket after cutting off an undercover cop, this is the car that you had to open the back passenger door just to open the passenger door, this is the car that we took all over the place even though people said it would never make it, this is the car that made my dad smile ear to ear. 

The Red Panther is back. 

+ mon

Working for the Weekend

This has been on my mind for a while now, and well it's not that I'm ungrateful for having a job in these "hard economic times" but it's just the anatomy of the job and what it entails and takes you away from.

We'll take the typical office job into consideration, say from 9am till 5pm. 

So here we are at 7am in the morning waking up and getting ready for work, because we also have to factor in the travel time so that we can make it into work ontimat 9am.  The day ticks away and we're here pounding on the keys of this board, going to meetings, meeting clients, reading emails, etc etc.  As the clock ticks, 5pm finally comes around and we're ready to get outta here and head on home.  Given that this is the rush hour and everyone rushes to get home, we get to our front door at about 6:30pm.  Now just because we're at home means that work is behind us, we have to get out of that work mentality and change and get comfortable for our life at home.

7pm is when we're in our house clothes and finally comfortable.  Now it's time to cook, watch tv, spend time with the family.  The clock hits 10pm or 11pm ... uh oh it's time to go to sleep now because we have to wake up at 7am to start the work cycle again.

Now taking a look at that, we spend about 12 hours a day either getting ready for or from work, being at work and traveling to and from work.  That's 12 hours, 7am to 7pm.  Then we have 3 or 4 hours to "relax," watch tv, spend time with the family, or whatever we have in mind before we have to hit the sack to get enough rest for us to make it through the next day.

What is that?  We only have a quarter of the time to spend at home during the week to be with our families, to relax and get away from work???  That's ridiculous, seriously it is. 

My boss always talks to us about quality of life is what's important, and what kind of quality of life is that when you come home at 7pm and spend the smallest amount of time with your kids and family.  I've always said that it's so much better to be working at a job that doesn't pay a lot, but does give you the time to be with your family and friends. 

The ideal job is to work on the beach and sell drinks.  The money probably isn't that great, but you're relaxed and you have time to be with the ones you love. 

Whomever invented the "work week" is an idiot!  Yes I said it!  Why couldn't they come up wtih a more balanced approach, 4 days of work and a 3 day weekend, or vica versa. 

Gotta love working for the weekend, us being behaved little robots for those 5 days gives us the reward of having 2 days to ourselves, awwww isn't that great!  This doesn't even take into account overtime, and those who are tied to their jobs with their ever so wonderful Blackberry's. 

Ahh well, back to work for me, another 9 minutes of regular time and probably some more overtime here.

+ mon