Invasion of Privacy

What would you do when you're faced with a situation where you felt helpless, you felt somewhat paralysed and didn't know what to do?  I'm sure some of us have gone through this before and have experienced many situations where these different feelings do and can come up.  

Today I had an experience where I did feel all of those feelings and thensome.  

It started out as a normal day here at work and then I decide to take a short trip to a place that I like to call my "smaller office."  The trip started out as I went to my normal spots, but all of them were occupied by other employees who seemed to be going to their small offices as well.

So what choices do I have, as nature was calling ... actually yelling at me.  I decided to go to one of the higher floors to see if there was anything available and usually they are quieter and you can spend the whole day up there.  I found one where there was one out of two available and made my way into the small office.  

One thing I noticed was that the door swung outward and I looked at the "lock" on the door, it was very shaky and I made a mental note that if there was a sudden impact on the door or someone would try to open it ... that it would simply give way.  My neighbor was very quiet ... and as nature was yelling at me, I was trying to be as quiet as he, but it was to no avail.  Nature yelled, and I yelled back.  That feeling of having a neighbor in these situations who is being quiet makes things uncomfortable, you try to be as silent as possible, but sometimes that's just impossible, then you start to wonder what they are thinking and then you remember what you were thinking when you were in the situation but you were the silent neighbor and how your face cringed with each noise the person next door did.  I waited for him to leave, but it seemed as if he was situated there for a while.  I could hear people coming in the door, then immediately leaving because they saw that both doors were closed and occupied, I guess at that particular time, nature made it's roll call to a lot of us here.  

I won the battle of patience and my neighbor decides to finish up and leave.  As he was leaving, he opened his door and as he did that the worst feeling came over me.  It was a feeling of not knowing what to do next, that reaction of fight or flight came and I had to make a choice as to where I would go next and what I should do.  

What would you do if you saw this scene about 3 feet in front of you, with your pants down around your ankles?

This picture was taken after the fact and when everything was over and done with.  It's a reenactment as I would not have been able to take this while everything was going on.  

So what would do you???  Good thing for me is that I noticed the shaky lock mechanism, if you could even call it a lock.  I would have had better luck putting tape on the door and the frame to keep it closed.  

As the door swung outward ... yes outward, a panic in me started to set in.  It would have been easy if it swung inward, but that wasn't my luck today.  I could see my neighbor through the opening of the door now and I'm sure he could see me looking into the mirror and seeing the door swinging open!  I quickly decide to leap forward to close the door ... but there's no handle on the door, only a small turning metal part that "locks" the door.  I couldn't grab onto that and had to think quickly.  

See it wasn't just a matter of finding a place to hold the door and close it ... but time was also a factor here.  The door was swinging open more and more, the longer I waited the more exposed I would be, and the harder it would be for me to find a way to close it as well!

I ended up grabbing the hook on the top of the door where you use to hang your jacket or coat and slowly pulling the door closed and putting it in the "locked" position again.  

For that brief moment after the sweat drips off your forehead do you find peace.  Then you rush to finish your business because this could be a recurring issue.  

I think this is actually one of my worst fears coming back to life.  I say "back to life" because this isn't the first time this has happened to me.  The first time was in an airport and the same situation happened when a neighbor slammed the door shut, and mine opened outward, but there was some complications with this as my bags were in the way and I couldn't lean forward enough to grab the door as it swung FULLY open.  The good thing was that it opened towards the urinals and there was no one there.  I leaned as far foward as I could trying to reach the door but with no luck ... what felt like an eternity, but I'm sure was only a few seconds, 30 seconds at most, the door started to swing closed again and I was able to lunge forward to close it.

These things always seem to happen to me!  Becareful out there, and bring some Scotch tape for those doors!

+ mon

Third Bedroom

I mentioned it in the "Knocked Out" entry about how I have a few bedrooms, one is in my house, the second is the subway, the third is here - at work!

Noo I don't sleep at my desk if that's what you're thinking.  Well actually I've fallen asleep for a couple of minutes here at my desk and ended up knocking things down when I suddenly woke up, but that's not the third bedroom I'm talking about.

It actually started while I was working at another firm and I came in one day dead tired, I can't remember if it was from a lack of sleep, or I was just tired during the day.  So I needed a power nap, the only place to do it was in the men's room, yes you read that right, in the men's room.

I would sit there on the porcelain thrown and either rest my elbow on the toilet paper holder to support my head, while I closed my eyes for a few minutes, or I will put my elbows on my knees (if the toilet paper holder wasn't in the correct position), and I'd have double support for my head.  

There is a maximum time limit here, 15 minutes is borderline so you need to make your exit prior to that.  Anything more than 15 minutes and people will knock on the door asking if you're alright.  There was one time where I didn't wake up for a good 30 minutes and people were looking for me, someone knocked on the door after recognizing my shoes from under the stall walls.  They asked if I was alright and I woke up not knowing where I was and what was going on ... I had to quickly answer and I told them that I had something bad for lunch.  

So many stories of my third bedroom ... there was the time when I started to snore while taking my power nap, luckily no one I knew came in the bathroom, or at least no one knew it was me.  There was another time where there was someone that came into the stall next to me that was quite loud with his ... deposits and air from down there.  It was similar to trying to sleep next to someone who snores loud, and has some stank breath.  

There are times when I'll go to a higher floor because they have cleaner bathrooms, but I'll usually stay here somewhere close to my desk, just incase.  I actually haven't done it in a while but the option is always there!

As you're reading this, I bet you're wondering ... does he sit with his pants up or does he sit as if he's doing the deuce?  Well ... you have to sell it so you gotta go all out with the pants to the floor!

+ mon

WTF to my Ears?!

So I just got back from my morning duece here in the office ... in the stall next to me comes in someone who is doing the same as I.

This isn't a problem and is usually fine, until today.  I'm used to hearing all sorts of "regular" sounds that come along with the call from nature, but today had me in disbelief.

As I concentrate on the task at hand, my neighbor positions himself ... and what do I hear?  A big splash!  At first, I thought I was hearing something and let it go, then again a big splash!  Then another big splash!  It was one right after the other.

It's as if someone was throwing rocks into the toilet from about 20 feet away!  Either that, or this person was standing on the seat and dropping his load from about 6 or 7 feet above the seat.

Seriously, it was that loud!  Splash after splash ...

+ mon